What I have learned from rejection in my career so far

Have you ever been told, “we decided to go with someone else for this ______.” Fill in the blank with whatever situation you found yourself in. It could job position, client project, speaking event, or mentoring program. Let’s just be honest, rejection is something no ones wants to face. But from my own experience in my life when I was rejected, I have learned valuable teachings from them. I wanted to share with you new perspectives on how you might view rejection. 

Now I don’t want to brush lightly on the emotional distress that comes from rejection. It’s important to acknowledge the pain that is felt from it. I get it, being turning down from a job you were hoping for, a potential dream client, or an opportunity is difficult. You then question: what did I do wrong? Was it something I said? What did the person they went with have that I didn’t? These questions are all understandable to have. But it can be tied with those feelings of hurt. But I offer you here the same questions but with a different perspective of seeing it as a learning opportunity and a chance to grow.

 Good fit or not/ be yourself:

There are many outcomes and choices when being chosen to work together. Are you a good fit for that client? At times we get so excited about the potential project but forget we will be working with others on this. It is important to ask questions to see if you are truly a good fit. Also on the other hand is important to be yourself in what you might be entering. Making sure your personality works together is vital for communication and project satisfaction. Does the environment need to be quite professional or can it be more leaned back?

Constructive feedback:

What I have learned from moments of rejection is the importance to ask people why? Asking them for specific feedback helps me understand if the issue was something I was lacking. The feedback that you get from that person, organization, or business allows you to process what they said. Is it truly something that doesn’t show the best of you or is it simply a preference they had. For example, in a job interview, I had a couple of years ago. When seeking a corporate job I was rejected for a position. I ask those that interviewed me if they could give feedback on what I could have done better. Or was there something that they were looking for that they did not see in how I presented myself? The response I got from them was the lack of transparency and be more open to sharing deeper stories and experiences. This feedback opened my eyes to the importance to share more of my personality. I took that mental note on the other future interviews that I would have.  It is also important to consider evaluating yourself from what feedback you got. Because people do not always give feedback that is one, constructive but instead destructive, and two you may have a better understanding of your character than they did in that short time together. 

New motivation for your work:

Now with your newfound knowledge on sincere areas to improve you can apply that to your work. I like what Psychologist Adam Grant says about feedback "When people hesitate to give honest feedback on an idea, draft, or performance, I ask for a 0-10 score. No one ever says 10. Then I ask how I can get closer to a 10. It motivates them to start coaching me – and motivates me to be coachable. I want to learn how to close the gap." This feedback like Grant mentions is a great motivation for how to continue our work. It may mean changing some things to improve in your industry. Sometimes the feedback I get from others motivates me to work harder at what I do. However, it is met with a balance of active steps of improvement and rest. I also focus that my motivation to work hard comes from an emotional place of genuine development and not of hurt.   

Learn & Improve:

At the end of the day, the feedback we seek and apply is for our joy to learn and improve. For me, as a business owner and entrepreneur, I seek to keep learning. Learning about myself, how I work, and how I can get better gives me the chance to serve my clients better. Continuous learning takes rejection as an opportunity to be the best version of yourself. That hurt then becomes a space for improvement to flourish. But only if we see it that way.

I hope this has given you a new perspective on rejection. If it has I would love to hear about it in the comments. What did you take away from this to see rejection differently?